Breakup and divorce
Breakup and divorce. Marriage doesn’t automatically change a relationship and a divorce isn’t inherently more
difficult than any breakup, experts tell Bustle. A couple who has been together for a long period of time, even if not
married, often go through the same grief, anger, stress, and sadness that we see in a divorce.
divorce stress symptoms, how to deal with a break up of a long-term relationship, how to cope with divorce as a
woman, breaking up during quarantine living together, marriage break up stages, causes of family break up, how to
cope with a breakup you don’t want, dealing with marriage separation pain.
I know that my friends who told me that were trying to make me feel better. They were trying to show empathy and a
shared experience with mine. But a relationship — even a long-term one with cohabitation — is not the same as a
marriage. If it was then same-sex couples wouldn’t be fighting for the right to marry all over this country.
For starters, there is the ceremony. When you start dating someone you don’t throw a “Hey look we just started dating
party.” You might have a housewarming if you move in together but with a marriage there are usually one or more
bridal showers, an engagement party, a bachelorette party and finally the big, obnoxious wedding. I remember mine as if it were yesterday and when I stood there in the dress facing both sides of our collective families turning to watch
me walk down that aisle, I thought to myself:
All of these parties, rituals and ceremonies add a sense of permanence to the union. Your families become legally linked to one another; everything becomes part of the public record. And although getting married is easy enough, getting out of it can be a quagmire.
I always want to say to the person who just broke up with their non-spouse partner Did you have to go to a lawyer to break up?
As difficult as a breakup is, even a long-term live-in partner is not the same as a husband or wife. With some long-term
relationships shared assets or children might be an issue but in most cases they are not. With a boyfriend or girlfriend
you can usually just walk away. You don’t have to go to court, you don’t have to file for legal separation, you don’t
have to protect your assets. The only real legal benefit to being non-married is that if you have your own health
insurance you don’t have to worry about losing it when you get divorced. Because of all of the legal ramifications,
especially with those involving children, divorces in some states can drag on for years before they are resolved.
I had a non-contested divorce with few assets and my ex and I spent over $2,000 on the divorce; I had to go to court
about five times before it was over. Since I was the one who filed, I was the one who had to appear to drive the
paperwork through the system. I remember waiting in line trying to hold back tears to get my certified copy of my
divorce. I had to get this document to split in half some of our assets and to legally declare to the universe that we
were no longer husband and wife. Our divorce was easy, it only took eight months in NY state, but some of my friends
with children are still battling with their exes years later. Eight months, thousands of dollars, and multiple court
appearances isn’t exactly the same as moving my stuff out of a boyfriend’s apartment. Breakup and divorce.
